Run #3156 by Beh Bak at Unknown

Run #3156 at Bukit Gambir was brought to you by Beh Bak, who arranged to have the trail set by the two jungle goblins, emerging from the undergrowth like half-feral forest spirits five minutes before start. That was the first red flag, obviously. But before we even got to the suffering, the Circle Master and VGM decided to open the entertainment early: since Fuck U couldn’t follow instructions the week before and behaved like a monkey, they taped an inflatable banana to his chest and decreed he must complete the full run and return it intact. The pack howled with laughter watching him wobble around like a cursed tropical mascot — and honestly, that banana had more dignity than most of us would by the end. Trail started off innocent enough… for about three minutes. Then it turned into a full jungle crawl-fest: vines in the face, trees in the way, checks that led nowhere, and the beer stop dangling in the distance like a mirage for thirsty idiots. People were climbing rocky cliff faces like we’d accidentally signed up for Extreme Survivor. Bonus entertainment included wasps handing out free facial swelling and one unlucky bastard getting a spider bite souvenir. One eye puffed up, one hand ballooned, morale slowly leaking out faster than the sweat. Eventually, the pack staggered into the beer stop like wounded soldiers reaching an outpost. Brief joy. Quick regroup. Then Beh Bak shoved everyone back into the green hell for the return journey — because why end suffering when you can double it? Paper went away from the start point (classic sadism), and several lost souls somehow looped back to the beer stop again… only to find the beer had already fled. Dry-mouthed march of shame across the new flyover back to the run site while the rest of the pack did a choose-your-own-adventure of confusion and exhaustion. Back at base, salvation arrived in the form of excellent food — crispy pork so good it almost made us forget the insect attacks and existential despair. Circle brought the usual chaos: two lady guests on ice thanks to Thaipusam holiday freedoms, Double Penetration called out for running a “free OnlyFans” (hash logic never fails), Billy shamed for dodging CNY run requests, and Black Lee punished for committing the ultimate fashion crime: pyjama pants in public. Somehow, Fuck U’s banana survived the ordeal, making it the true hero of Bukit Gambir. Verdict: Brutal jungle torture, outstanding stings and suffering, inflatable banana glory, glorious pork redemption, and top-quality circle abuse. On On — and next time, more beer and fewer insect souvenirs, you sadistic jungle goblins.