Run #3162 by Ronnie Tour at Unknown

Run #3162 kicked off in true Penang Hash fashion—with absolute confusion and zero leadership. Your so-called hare, Ronnie Tour, managed the impressive feat of not knowing where his own bloody run site was. Turns out he outsourced the whole thing to Sai Seng, who by then was already running on fumes after setting trails three days straight. The pack arrived in dribs and drabs, milling about like lost tourists, before eventually sniffing their way toward something vaguely resembling a trail and plunging into the jungle. What followed was advertised as a “short run,” which in hash terms usually means “you’ll suffer, just not for very long.” Sai Seng, clearly valuing his own survival, kept the distance modest—but made sure every metre hurt. The trail was a relentless, ball-busting climb over massive boulders, with bonus thorny patches thrown in to keep things spicy. A few geniuses attempted heroic shortcuts into the wilderness, only to discover that gravity, jungle, and poor decision-making don’t mix. The rest of us slogged upward, questioning life choices and the definition of “mercy.” A hasty relocation when the run finished, the pack finally stumbled upon the correct run site—where Ronnie Tour was found lounging comfortably in a chair like a king surveying his kingdom, blissfully unaware (or pretending to be) of the abuse raining down on him. As dusk rolled in, the suffering conveniently gave way to more important priorities—namely cracking open crates of beer at an increasingly enthusiastic pace. Circle was mercifully short, probably because no one could be arsed standing any longer after that climb. A few returners were welcomed back into the fold, while Ronnie Tour received well-deserved recognition for his elite navigation skills—or lack thereof. Charges were light, insults were heavy, and the beer flowed just enough to dull the memory of the uphill torture. Verdict: Confused start, outsourced hare, savage climb, and well-earned beers. Classic mess, decent laughs. On On — and next time, Ronnie, bring a map… or at least follow your own damn trail.