Run #3165 AGM at Unknown

AGM night at Summer Garden and, like moths to a questionable flame, 65 hashers crawled out to witness democracy in its most dysfunctional form. The hare kicked things off with immediate cuntfusion — a check within sniffing distance of the start that utterly defeated a pack apparently too lazy, too hungover, or just too thick to find paper without divine intervention. Rescue was required before anyone had even broken a sweat. Promising start. Once the herd was finally pointed in roughly the right direction, the trail dragged us through a mind-numbing road section peppered with checks and back-checks that felt less like hashing and more like punishment for past sins. Morale dipped faster than a cheap pint in a thirsty circle. But salvation came in the form of jungle — and not the friendly kind. Two spicy climbs slapped the lungs awake, followed by a long descent that had knees filing complaints to HR. Front runners staggered in around 75 minutes, with the rest trickling in, some looking heroic, others looking like they’d been hit by a small bus. Then came the real circus: the AGM. The outgoing mis-management was thanked (begrudgingly) and shuffled off, only for the voting chaos to reinstall… basically the same bunch of idiots. Democracy clearly took the night off. A few veterans bailed out with excuses flimsier than trail marking in the dark, leaving fresh meat to be hastily volunteered, conscripted, and metaphorically nailed to the cross. The “new” committee now stands as a shining example of why term limits should exist. Circle was absolute carnage — charges flying like beer caps, with highlights including a well-earned salute to Cocktickler for years of on-sex service, and the christening of our youngest offender as “K-Pop Cock Hugger” after his enthusiastic embrace of every vertical object in the jungle while apparently dying of thirst. Classic rookie mistake: no water, plenty of questionable decisions. As tradition dictates, free beer flowed in honor of the AGM — and disappeared just as quickly, with 15 crates annihilated like they never existed. Verdict: Recycled leadership, savage circle, and spectacular drinking. AGM delivered exactly what it always does — chaos, nonsense, and zero progress. On On!