Hash House Hymnals

The Hare Song

Here’s to the hare, he's true blue.
He is a Hasher through and through.
He is a piss-pot so they say.
Tried to go to heaven, but went the other way.

Brother Hasher

Here’s to brother Hasher, Bother Hasher, brother Hasher.
Here’s to brother Hasher, may he chug along.

He’s happy, he’s jolly, he’s fucked up by golly.
Here’s to brother Hasher, may he chug along.

So DRINK mother-fucker, DRINK mother-fucker, DRINK mother-fucker DRINK!

Why were they born so beautiful

Why were they born so beautiful, why were they born at all?
They’re no fucking use to anyone, they’re no fucking use at all!
They may be a joy to their mother, but they’re a pain in the ass to the rest of us!

The Urinal Song

He ought to be publicly pissed on,
He ought to be publicly shot, Bang Bang!
He ought to be tied to a urinal and left there to fester and rot!

You’re Stupid

He’s stupid, he’s stupid, he’s really fucking dumb..
if it wasn’t for his mother he’d be a spot of cum!

He’s the Meanest

He’s the meanest, he sucks the horse’s penis!
He’s the meanest, he’s the horse’s ass
Ever since he found it, all he does is pound it
He’s the meanest, he’s the horse’s ass

He’s the lamest, he licks the horse’s anus!
He’s the lamest, he’s the horse’s ass.
Ever since he found it, all he does is pound it
He’s the lamest, he’s the horse’s ass.

Put Your Leg Over My Shoulder

Put your left leg over my shoulder,
Put your right leg over my shoulder,
Blu la lu la

Put your left tit over my shoulder,
Put your right tit over my shoulder,
Blu la lu la

If your girlfriend tastes like shit

If your girlfriend tastes like shit, flip her over.
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, flip her over.
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, that’s her asshole not her clit.
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, flip her over.

If your boyfriend smells like shit roll him over…
If your boyfriend smells like shit roll him over…
If your boyfriend smells like shit it’s his asshole not his dick
If your boyfriend smells like shit roll him over…

The Foreskin Song

Tune: “My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean”

My one skin hangs down to my two skin,
My two skin hangs down to my three,
My three skin hangs down to my foreskin,
My foreskin hangs down to my knees.

Roll back, roll back,
Roll back my foreskin for me, for me.
Roll back, roll back,
Roll back my foreskin for me.

Jesus can’t go hashing

"Repeat each verse 3 times"

Jesus can’t go hashing ’cause, he turns the beer to wine!

[Chorus]
Free beer for all the hashers x3
Jesus Saves, Jesus Saves, Jesus Saves!

All the girls love Jesus ’cause he’s hung like this! (spread out arms)
All the girls love Jesus ’cause they know he’ll cum again!
Buddha can't go hashing 'cause, his belly is too big!

[Final verse - "Everyone gets on one knee"]
Jesus, we’re only kidding! x3
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves!

[Alternative verses]
Jesus can’t go hashing ’cause, his dad knows all the trails!
Jesus can’t go hashing ’cause, the Jew won't pay
Jesus can’t go hashing ’cause his feet are tied together!
Jesus can’t go hashing ’cause he’s busy getting nailed!
Jesus don’t need flour ’cause he lays the trail in blood;
Jesus can’t go hashing ’cause Judas pissed him off!
Jesus can’t go hashing ’cause he’s only got 12 friends!
Jesus can’t go hashing ’cause shiggy on his head!
Jesus can’t go hashing ’cause his wood is just too big!
Jesus can’t go hashing ’cause his girlfriend is a whore!
Jesus can’t go hashing ’cause he’s stuck behind a rock!
Jesus can’t go hashing ’cause he shortcuts across the lake!

Returners

Four returning hashers back in town once more
Do us all a favor and go away once more
Go away tomorrow, we really wish you would
And next time when you go away please stay away for good!

Departers

It’s a long way to your homeland, it’s a long way to go
It’s a long way to your homeland where the girls DON’T suck or blow
Goodbye to your balls, farewell to your tarts
It’s a long long way to your homeland, so fuck off quick smart

FUCK OFF YOU CUNT, FUCK OFF YOU CUNT, FUCK OFF YOU CUNT, FUCK OFF!

Drunken Hasher

"Repeat each verse 3 times"

[Chorus]
What shall we do with the drunken hasher? x3
Early in the evening..

Shave his balls with the rusty razor
Zap him in the ass with Kali’s tazer
Sit him on ice and sing ten verses
Down Down the beers we’re drinking

Do Your Balls/Tits Hang Low?

Do your balls hang low?
Do they swing to and fro?
Can you tie them in a knot?
Can you tie them in a bow?
Can you throw them over your shoulder,
Like a regimental soldier?
Do your balls hang low?

Do your tits hang low? 
Do they wobble to and fro? 
Can you tie them in a knot? 
Can you tie them in a bow? 
Do you get a painful feeling,
When you throw them at the ceiling
Do your tits hang low?

Fuck New Friends

Tune: "Make New Friends"

Fuck new friends, and suck off the old
Friendship jizz is worth its weight in gold
A circle jerk is round, it has no ends
Jerking off is how you make new friends

It’s a Small Dick

Tune: “It’s a Small World”

Well it isn’t long and it isn’t thick,
It gets hard too slow and it cums too quick,
It gets lost in her twat,
But it’s all that he’s got,
It’s a small, small, dick.

It’s a small dick after all,
It’s a small dick after all,
Always limp from alcohol,
It’s a small, small, dick!